This weekend marks the one month anniversary since this journey began. The journey to Kenya was part of it, but now that I am back the journey hasn't ended. It involves reconciling the things I saw, the relationships with the people I witnessed it with and the radical change God placed on my life as a result of being there.
As I plan to finish Christmas shopping this weekend for my children and family I truly feel guilty. Almost a numbness as I realize that what I will spend on one child would educate and feed a child in the Segera community of Kenya for a year. Not that my children don't deserve it, they do. Not that I am unwilling to provide it for them, I am. But just a different awareness of what money means in different parts of our world. For my children it will be entertainment and luxury, for the same age Kenyan children it could mean another year of school or more importantly another year of life on this earth.
The visions still replay in my mind of shoeless children infected by Jiggers playing close by me as their mothers looked on almost in disbelief that a man would be interested in playing with their child. I cant help but think what goes through their mind. Who is this "mzunga" (white man)? Does he not know men don't interact with the children ? Does he not know that my children have never experienced this?
We were able to leave a few items behind as we departed on the final day. For me, I left my construction partner James my Browning boots. They were a nice fit since the tennis shoes he wore were two sizes too small. For the Segera Mission, a few pair of pants and a couple of tee shirts will clothe the next person in need. But for the children....Thats a little different. For the children I left a piece of my heart there. Who will take care of them? Will they survive the next drought and be here when I return? Most importantly, did I make a difference for them today?
What I did return home with was an inability to forget. Everyday I think of the trip in one way or another. Its automatic, my heart is divided. I am here functioning and enjoying being back with my children but in so many other ways I long to be back in Kenya.
Here I am aggravated by three rainy days in a row, for them I wish it would rain every day.
I speak openly about too much Government involvement in our lives, for them I wish the government would get involved and help solve a simple problem of poverty.
I enjoy the benefits of convenience here, while I crave the isolation and peace that I found there.
I am thankful for great children, but sorrowful for those there who don't have the benefit of options.
I haven't forgotten, my guess is I wont forget and I will return one day to live it out all over again. I have a new perspective, a love for the people of Kenya who were so welcoming, a new appreciation of the people in my life here, and an unending motivation to take a little "Kenya" everywhere I go.
Comments